My kitchen has been besieged by fruit flies. I’ve never experienced such a fruit-fly invasion. Loathe to implement any toxic remedies, I’ve been seeking out a cheap, green method of evicting/murdering them. Turns out it’s as simple as pouring them a glass of wine (they seem partial to white zinfandel…which makes them, perhaps, not the most sophisticated of bugs). Put the wine in a glass, along with a few drops of your favorite eco-friendly dish detergent. Within minutes, they’ll abandon swarming for swimming – in alcohol. Simple, effective…and, what the heck, pour yourself a glass while you’re at it! (A glass before dinner might soften the whine of out-of-school children. Or at least make you less likely to care…)